Wastebasketorium

We all Float Down Here

2009-07-12T19:29:00.001-07:00

Michael Jackson Gold Rush: Ebay Domain Names

2009-06-26T06:39:00.000-07:00

It looks like there is a gold rush for Michael Jacksonesque domain names.

Comparison of 3 Major Front Pages

2009-05-19T06:09:00.000-07:00

I looked at three major front page papers, El Pais of Spain, Le Monde of France and the New York Times. I don't think all papers should be showing the same news necessarily, but after reading an OP/ED piece in the Times yesterday about whether or not it will have to close it's doors thanks to bloggers and teh internets it makes me wonder if it's putting the most interesting/impacting news on it's cover. If it's not showing dead bodies, like the other major papers then maybe it will close. Talk amongst yourselves.

Also, FYI, it can be noted that at the time of publishing this...the Times Online also didn't show a dead body. That's all tickety boo.

Fatalism of Heaven and Peace

2009-04-18T16:10:00.000-07:00

At the moment I've been struck by a paralell of perception. I was thinking about the way that war is accepted by our society as inevitable.

I was led to this thought by thinking, "I wish there wasn't a military, that there wasn't a need for a military." I imagined also that as soon as it disappeared America would be under attack and overthrown.

This is because everybody has a military and even though they may hate war they also agree it's necessary. This is essentially the definition of fatalism, you accept failure.

There are many simliar fatalism-endorsing compromises that happen every day in our lives. One example is accepting the prices stores charge for goods or the amount of money we get paid or the amount of commercials we see on TV. In this sense we're able to tolerate and accept a lot of shit this world dishes out. The number of times a person compromises away from their ideal world the lower their standards become.

I started to think of the source of our acceptance of less in life and then the paradigm of christianity popped into my head.

The Christian doctorine teaches people that life is going to suck and you shouldn't try to acheive perfection because perfection awaits you in heaven.

Now, some people might disagree with the above statement, but the nuts and bolts are there. There is a self-fulfilling prophecy of persecution in the Christian doctorine. This is how heaven is a model of fatalism. If we essentially believe that nothing can be done to fix our world and that the best things happen after death, there isn't really an incentive to find peace on this planet.

We are trained in church from our earliest ages to accept mediocrity. It's a model that our country and others have followed.

It's a philosophy of fatalism and defeat that can lead to accepting lower standards and accepting war and famine and disease and, more comically, improper pronunciation of spanish words.

Barack Poster with Latin Flavor

2008-06-06T10:56:00.000-07:00

This poster is simply amazing! I first saw it on the eastside in Austin, Tx. I have been looking for it online and finally found it. I don't know who to give credit to for it but it is great artwork and impactful on so many levels. I only wish I had a hi-res version!

iTunes and iPod Not as easy as everybody thinks!

2008-05-06T11:08:00.000-07:00

Cutest Littlest lolgrrl you'll see EVER! (today)

2008-04-08T10:09:00.001-07:00

Bush...still a moron.

2008-03-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

Original photo from http://www.sancairodicopenhagen.com/joe/node/98

Barack Might Win thanks to WIll.I.Am

2008-03-11T11:04:00.000-07:00

I think this video a good example of how Barack might win...rhetoric.

Meaning it uses phrases, "reality check" "false hope" "si se puede" "I want change," "we will begin the next chapter..." but is rather lacking of substance. I've read about this type of phemon in other places referred to as "revolutionary judo" - the ambivalence between the symbolic declaration and real intention.

Which, I guess, is the reason I'm voting democrat. As basic and ambivalent to issues as I can possibly be as a voter. I'm either voting for a person of color or a woman.

The concept of voting for a "change" in lieu of our current leader is a pretty obvious. I think change of hegemony rather than true political change is what people are looking for. Which, hopefully, to coin a phrase popularized by The Gipper, will "trickle down" in a positive way.

US Government Web Designers Forget About Firefox

2008-03-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

I can't be 100% sure but I went to the visas page in firefox and it looks like shit.

The IE one is pretty swank though. See for yourself:

Replacement Method

2008-01-05T20:00:00.000-08:00

The Replacement Method.

It should be called something in one of the soft sciences - and I'm sure it is, but it was a revelation all my own while I was taking a bath and drinking miller high life, aka, the Champagne of Beers.

I was trying to read a book in the tub and the book was quickly dissolving. I could not focus. I started asking a bunch of brinskmanship (a la Palahniuk) type of questions. In a way it was eschatalogical.

With the new year brings new ruminations and new angles on old perspectives, etc. This close to 30 I was getting a bit depressed. It was New Year's stuff, what I want to change, do better until I started getting frustrated by the concept of being absolutely inchoate. I've never taken charge to become any particular destiny.

I tell myself I'm gonna be a vegetarian, lose weight, be more creative and all the sort of cliche ideas many people turn into life changing resolutions.

Ok and I have to make a small admission, since it's my own tub (or I'm renting, what's the difference?) I pissed a bit into the tub. My own piss, afterall.

To make matters worse I even kind of spit a little bit. I just pushed it out of my mouth and let it run down my chin. The I propelled some spit onto my chest, then against the bathtub wall.

This is because I'm fucked up in the head. I want to pretend to hit rock bottom. I don't really want to be living on the streets but every once in a while I try to sort of trash myself and feel mucky. I try to pretend that there really is something wrong with me, that my life is miserable and there, clearly, is no reason to perpetuate breathing.

It's a sham, the meaningless feelings I feel. I have resolutions because I like the concept of finding something to be disciplined about because ultimately, I'm looking for something to give my life meaning, to put me on the path of achieving greatness. I'm not one of the one's shakespeare talked about, greatness isn't exactly thrusting itself "upon me".

As emo as this blog already sounds let me tell you that I'm not trying to be maudlin. I just weave in and out of thoughts until I have a braid. Sometimes this involves typing...

The post title, though, it's Replacement Method. This is my bathtub brainchild. I concocted it while I was spitting and peeing on myself.

I was playing with somebody else's kid the other day and I was picking him up and swinging him around. He loved it. For sure. you could tell he doesn't get that enough, that throwing stuff, I mean. The swinging. He's so high energy that I imagine he needs more attention. Who knows really? With kids these days maybe they don't need attention, but rittalin.

Which is the essence of the Replacement method. After swinging him for a while I became tired. So I tried to feed him a piece of pie. It worked for about a minute. Then the pie was gone. Then I tried to replace his desire of swinging with his desire to throw stuff. So we threw stuff.

I'm sure my parents did the same thing. By the time you get tired of reading to your own children they can read themselves so you just send them on their way to read a book. Otherwise, if they aren't so studious, you can buy them a Nintendo Wii.

Continue this pattern. Other replacement options are jobs, alcohol, drugs, weather, psychosis and anything that can possibly stand between you and your dreams. Or, at least distract you long enough so that you lose focus of what is really important to you.

This is the replacement method.

For 2008 I want to tear away the things which break my focus.

Replacing what you want in life for the things that you don't, ultimately with destroy who you are at the core. Take on the resolution with me if you want - I hope you do.

Keep on dreaming and keep on truckin'. FTW.

Tiger Direct: Patronizing Warranty Selling MFers

2007-12-28T05:23:00.000-08:00

It kinda feels like Tiger Direct is actually calling me an idiot, which, is a bad practice when you want my money...Here's what they auto wrote, what I wrote, what they autowrote.

Dear Kevin,

You did your research. You followed up on the hot tip and you made a smart investment with TigerDirect. You're on a roll.

However, our records indicate you didn't buy an Extended Service Plan at the time of purchase. Why gamble now? Invest a few minutes, and you won't have to worry about high-repair costs for years to come.

Click below to purchase your Extended Service Plan, but like all good offers, timing is everything.

Dear Tiger,

There is a 1 year factory warranty on my purchase...why should I pay you for a warranty? I mean, seriously, why would I even shop at TigerDirect unless I was trying to save money and not pay the scam prices of extended warranty and other tacked on fees and charges?

In most circumstances the onus of producing a good product is on the manufacturer. If they will not make the right decision when a product malfunctions then they lose customers.

Plus, a year from now when the warranty expires it will most likely be time for me to get new Christmas presents anyway and most likely, I will be able to get a better version of the same product for much cheaper and it will be NEW.

Thanks for the patronizing e-mail, but no thanks,

Kevin

Greetings from TigerDirect.com.

We're sorry. You replied to an address that can't accept
incoming e-mail. But don't worry--this automated response
will direct you to the right place at TigerDirect.com.

Sincerely,

TigerDirect.com

P.S.  Don't miss out on the latest technology!  Click below to save BIG
on the latest technology specials:

Older Than teh Internet.

2007-08-23T23:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here's a quick list of things that I find to be older than the internet. Lol.

10. Optimus Prime
9. Fanboys
8. Star Wars
7. Face it, Ron Jermemy is older than the internet.
6. Charles Bronson...
5. Donald Duck Gets a blow job (link)
4. Duke Nukem
3. This guy....Obviously
2. All Your Base Are Belong to us
1. Free Music

Ron Paul is Not Right: His head is emptying all over the internet.

2007-07-23T06:41:00.000-07:00

In a New York Times article, (yes, THE NYTIMES, that paragon of ______), Ron Paul is an exciting longshot candidate.

If anything, an article titled, "The Antiwar, Anti-Abortion, Anti-Drug-Enforcement-Administration, Anti-Medicare Candidacy" will tell you two things: 1.) Grammatically, the hyphen is difficult to consitently implement and 2.) No Fucking Way Ron Paul.

Ron Paul is a flash-in-the-pan man who's political ideas are so self-centered they aren't meant for government use. The planet is becoming more dense so we have to come up with government solutions that can capture the needs of the largest population, not simply cater to the people with the luxury of insular existences in the stix.

One thing Ron Paul doesn't want to pay for is other people's education. In his perfect world college and university wouldn't be subsidized by taxpayer dollars. The idea is that if one isn't attending college why should one pay for another's attendance?

It's a rhetorical question in treatment, to be sure, but there is a real and simple answer. The answer is this, We are a nation and our survivalibility is dependant on the success of all Americans.

So, if you want to drop out of high school and manage your father's furniture store then you can argue all you want about not wanting to pay for university - an altogether unecessary endeavor, eg, 'Look at me and my furniture store!' - when your husband gets Cancer and the people who would cure it couldn't afford college. Afterall, without government subsidies college will over triple in cost and as the funding dwindles Professors will be paid less and departments will be forced to close.

This is one example of Ron Paul's myopic viewpoint's damaging effects on our society. This is just one example of how he just says shit. He doesn't think it through.

He's exciting and the .net/iphone/XBOX world is falling for it in a way that surpasses logic and engenders the false dichotomies of binary thinking.

Cagey Cane

2007-07-04T20:33:00.000-07:00

*The Photo you see is from fassettphoto.com

I was driving down the road at a whipping 35mph today and I guess the whipping part was the wind coming in through my small, triangular windowless frame on the passenger side of my Jeep Cherokee. Previously, there was a window before some methhead (or some otherwise addled person of desperate status)
broke the window with a screwdriver and jacked my car stereo.

I have to give this hooligan his (is it sexist to imagine it was a man?) due because it could have been much worse. Nothing else was stolen and he did break the smallest window, didn't damage the car too much, etc.

Like I said earlier, I was driving down the road at a whipping speed when I saw a man walking down the street swinging a cane with a four-pronged base while walking happily. Judging by my keen eye of homelessness and generally impequniousness I was able to ascertain that this man with a jovial and proverbial spring in his step was, above being physically mobile, homeless.

Let me tell you that there are many fakers and goldbrickers in the homeless community and this was merely one who I saw one day in an odd set of circumstances which revealed his hoax. Certainly, in all walks of life there exist personages who will try to flim-flam others and swindle, et al, but as an astute reader, I imagine, you have already come across this valuable information.

More valuable to you is this additional tidbit: homeless people with canes are not all injured and infirm. Their weak gaits are a decoy and their canes are weapons to be brandished at the first scent of fight or flight confrontations.

Do not mistake a man with a cane as being weak. Think of him instead as cagey.

Early from the Nest

2007-07-02T21:52:00.000-07:00

I found a poem between the legs of an assaulted woman.
It was a throbbing abused verse like a mute, dying chic.

As the clouds passed over the sun it became inaudible and invisible;
The bird died in the dark simply because it fell from a tree onto the street.

In January a hen was sitting on an egg and biting at intruders
to guard the nest and incubate the egg with its ass on folded legs.

The first cracks of the shell appeared and a baby breathed air - in a gasp.

Before it learned to fly it was flailing in the air and without knowing it hit the ground
and poetry drained from the skull of the bird and from between its legs it bled onto the street.

28 Weeks Later...What they say!

2007-06-19T19:51:00.000-07:00

Instead of writing a review of this movie I'm just going to respond to what others have said. For instance, if Such and Such Big Shot Movie Reviewer Gal says "Awesome flick" then my response would be something like, "piss off you intestine smelling foul wretch."

Here we go.

This Comes from Ian Winter of Channel 4 Films:

"Well worth seeing, especially for fans of the original. But all its brilliance only serves to compound the disappointing and pedestrian final half hour."

"Well worth seeing if you haven't got any eyes! But then everything is worth seeing because it would be nice to be able to see. Duh...Not that there's anything wrong with not being able to see. It's a dis-uh-bility."

Kevin Williams of Jam! Movies Writes:

"Fresnadillo, who also co-wrote the screenplay, understands that true horror lies in the moral choices men and women make in the direst of circumstances."

"Why don't you make a moral choice and jam this movie up your flaccid ass?"

Brian Webster of the Apollo Guide Writes:

"While parallels with the Iraq situation are unmistakeable, it's more concerned with terrifyingly dismal atmosphere and a kinetic, intense race for survival."

"This has nothing to do with Vietnam Walter!"

Peter Vonder Haar of Film Threat Writes:

"The first half of 28 Weeks Later is highly enjoyable, assuming you find things like cowardice, official incompetence, and nihilistic visions of the future entertaining."

"Yeah Pete, I agree the movie sucks but WTF are you talking about?!"

Betty Jo Tucker of Reel Talk Movie Reviews says:

"Yikes! '28 Weeks Later' is a very, very scary movie."

"OMG you're a retarded."

Scott Tobias of the ever-shilling Onion AV Clubs Says:

"Under Fresnadillo's assured direction, 28 Weeks Later blurs the line between genre entertainment and a photojournalist's shots of the next urban catastrophe."

"And you wonder why Fresnadillo doesn't return your calls. Groupie. Why don't you go staple your face shut and stop breathing you dick drip?"

Peter Travers of Rolling Stone

"Fresnadillo ups the gore quotient and shows a penchant for showoff editing and strobe lighting that Boyle avoided. It grabs you though, hard and often."

"You said hard and often. You're an idiot Travers. You didn't even watch this one did you? You got the dvd in the mail and you didn't even open it. You were too busy masturbating to old issues of Spin while listening to yacht rock and rubbing mustard on your nipples."

Dennis Dermody of Paper

Looks like my critical hero passed on reviewing this one. Way to go Dennis.

A Letter To tha Washington Post...

2007-04-17T16:18:00.000-07:00

Knowingly, I'm stealing the below from myself...well, my myspace self, but I wanted an entry already...

A letter to tha, um, Washington Post

Yo, it's time again to post another blog. This is just an example about the weird shit that happens to me, (mainly I cause it...).

I was reading an article about this violinist the Washington Post who setup to play a set during a.m. rush hour in the lobby of L'Enfant Plaza, which is, a government building. He dressed like a regular street musician for his performance whereas recently he sold out a very prestigious venue in the DC area with his million-five dollar violin.

The point of the article is to show how stupid people are, namely, that they cannot appreciate greatness on their way to work. So I finished reading the article and was pissed. So I wrote the writer a letter! (click here for the article). If you enjoy this article then maybe next you can next enjoy seppukuing yourself with a Rod Stewart album.

Date:	Sun, 8 Apr 2007 09:44:45 -0700 (PDT)
From:	"Burns Kevin"
Subject:	Strad
To:	weingarten@washpost.com

I don't know why you are so arrogant. But you're kind of a crappy writer. I don't think you are the equivalent to J. Bell in your craft.

You probably didn't know anything you mention in the article before you researched it. So why are you completely subjectively arrogant? You, sir, are a senator. I will be okay being a pedestrian, plebian, &tc but I'm not going to be an asshole making a bet over the unworthiness of mankind. Humanity is music.

Fuck off.

In re-reading this e-mail I noticed a few typos and also the petulance and mockish tone but I was pretty pissed at the time, (and I plagiarized Shakespeare). His response is equally smarmy if not more infantish, which is a propos if you consider the setting of the piece was L'Enfant, which is French for "stupid baby".

From:	"Gene Weingarten"
To:	"Burns Kevin"
Date:	Mon, 16 Apr 2007 08:35:13 -0400

Thank you, Kevin, for your well thought out email. It is always a pleasure to hear from intelligent readers.

Were you by chance at L'Enfant Plaza that morning?

Obviously to the readers of this blog, I was not, at L'Enfant and probably never will be. What gets me the most about the article is that this guy pretends to truly appreciate the Musician and identify with him but it is impossible. He can only vicariously enjoy his talent. It is the equivalent of being an adult film cameraman talking to John Holmes about how small all of the other guys cocks are in comparison to his and never having to whip out his own cock to justify making such a statement. Weak. I guess that's appropriate too because this journalist's name is basically German for "small dick"...weinergarten, (or dick school, which, you know, either way is funny). Meh.